Why I got a dog my first month of grad school
Recently, eight more copies of A Field Guide to Grad School were shared with prospective and current PhD students in the United States bringing our total number of book winners to 69! Recipients included: Samhita Katteri, Lillian Kim, Brandon Labbree, Oshin Pandey, Andrea D. Rivera-Martínez, Aleeza West, Poonam Zantye, and Claire Zhang. If you are a prospective or current PhD student in the United States and are interested in winning a copy of A Field Guide to Grad School, be sure to enter the book giveaway to receive your own copy. More information on how to do this is at the end of the newsletter.
I am unabashedly a stereotypical indulgent dog-owning millennial. Whenever I’m away from my dogs (as I am at the time I’m writing this post), I’m reminded of just how much I love them. They make my life immeasurably better. I really can’t imagine life without them. And I’m not alone in this. The majority of U.S. households include a pet, with dogs being the most popular, followed by cats and freshwater fish (Megna, 2023). Luckily for me, dogs have always been a part of my life. I was fortunate to grow up with two Great Danes (sequentially), Gatsby and Daisy. As somewhat of an outsider who didn’t have many friends, Gatsby and Daisy provided important social support throughout my childhood and adolescence. Indeed, Gatsby was my first best friend! So, when I moved to Kansas to start graduate school and felt painfully alone, I got a dog. And I didn’t just get any dog, I got perhaps the best dog in the world, Henry.
Consider this post a thank you note to Henry (and really all pets). I am the human I am because of him. I’ve been able to overcome immense personal difficulties because of him. I’ve been able to welcome other people into my life and develop strong personal ties because of him. He even helped me with a research study (see p. 2 for his picture in this journal article)!
So, below I highlight a few reasons why I got a dog my first month of graduate school (and why this might be a good idea for you, too).
Forced routine. I appreciate structure; however, graduate school didn’t impose a clear structure on my day. Some days I had classes, some days I had scheduled responsibilities in my lab, most days I was involved with some sort of research, and always there was more I could do. Because I had Henry, I had to build a schedule around his biological needs—one that required me to be efficient and manage my time well when on campus and one that required me to be reliable and stick to a routine off campus. Having this routine helped me set boundaries, manage my time effectively, and ensured that I developed a sense of self independent of my graduate school life.
Got me off campus. Graduate school can be consuming. It’s very easy to feel compelled to stay on campus even when you don’t want to be. But when you have a dog, it’s simply not possible to indefinitely stay on campus. So, because I had to have a routine and because Henry had biological needs, I literally had to get off campus. I suppose I could’ve hired a dog walker but that was not in my grad school budget! To be clear, I’m not suggesting that I stopped working when I left campus. But because I had to take care of Henry’s needs, I had to take the show on the road, which was good for my physical and mental health.
Got me outside. When I first moved to Kansas, I was paralyzed with loneliness and reluctant to get out of bed. However, because I had Henry, I had to get out of bed. At minimum, I had to let him out three times a day and take him for a walk. Even when I couldn’t take care of myself, at least directly, I’ve always been able to take care of Henry (and so perhaps indirectly myself). On the better days (which far outnumbered the not-so-good ones), getting outside with Henry allowed me to enjoy nature, find beauty in unexpected places, and take notice of things I would’ve missed had Henry’s nose not led us on some adventure. I wonder how many miles Henry and I have walked together (and admittedly given his old age, also wonder how many more we have).
Helped me meet (new) people. I am quite reserved and shy. I can be outgoing among my friends or really “turn it on” for the purposes of a conference, but otherwise, I tend to keep to myself. Yet, my own research shows that social connection is powerful and necessary (see example 1, example 2). Henry really helped me meet new people (and he still does!). People are often drawn to dogs and are more likely to approach me when Henry is by my side (mostly to ask whether they can say hi to him). And with Henry by my side, I’m much more likely to strike up a conversation or simply say “Hello.”
Provided comfort. Graduate school is tough. There were days I felt like I absolutely sucked at everything. And there were certainly days where I did fall short—be it on a test, messing up a research protocol, etc. Yet, no matter how terrible I felt about my future as a researcher, Henry thought I was the best. To be fair, there were also days that called for celebration and I wanted to celebrate with Henry. Even now, when something good happens, I want to celebrate with my dogs. Also, I truly believe that dogs love unconditionally. There is no greater comfort than knowing that when I get home from work, I’m going to be surrounded by love.
Final thoughts. Being able to get a dog my first month of graduate school was an absolute privilege. I had savings, a livable (for me) stipend, and a partner and family who could offer financial support if needed. I was also fortunate that Henry never experienced a major medical emergency or developed a need that extended beyond my financial capabilities. I also had no dependents, chronic illness, or crushing debt. This is all to say, I recognize the financial commitment involved and am grateful that I was able to meet it. Oh, and since graduate school, my family has grown to include Fran! She joined us in April of this year.
Until next time!
How to reach me: You are always welcome to email me (letstalkgradschool@gmail.com). You can also find me on Twitter (X) @tweetsbymidge and Bluesky @bskybymidge.
Want to support my #hiddencurriculum efforts? Consider “buying me a coffee” via Ko-fi. All funds will be put back into my Let’s Talk Grad School initiatives (i.e., weekend groups, buying/mailing books, etc.). Learn more about my efforts here.
Let’s give away some books: Readers located in the United States are eligible to enter the book giveaway to receive a copy of A Field Guide to Grad School by Dr. Jessica Calarco. To do so, complete this survey and note that you only have to complete it once to be entered in all subsequent giveaways! I do hope to expand the reach of the giveaway; however, at the moment, the shipping costs are too great to scale. If you’d like to talk about ways your institution could secure an electronic (or hard) copy, please let me know.
Wishing you all the best!
Margaret
Motion Mod is a mobile app that lets users create animations, motion graphics, and visual effects. It features keyframe animation, multi-layer editing, and various special effects. https://motionmod.net/
Later, when I have a family, I will also raise two puppies. They look so adorable. Sitting and playing https://penaltyshooters.io with them lying next to me is wonderful.